


What you fear for

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 21:56:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1242046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur sees Merlin use magic and his first thoughts fly to the consequences of his father knowing as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What you fear for

Arthur doesn't realise he might love Merlin until the moment he sees him from a distance cause a rock slide to collapse onto a hoard of attacking mercenaries with a raised hand and a pair of glowing eyes. He doesn't even remember why he brought Merlin out with him on this patrol, except that Merlin always goes everywhere Arthur goes. Even if Arthur specifically tries to leave him behind, even if he says he doesn't have to come. Neither happens very often. Arthur doesn't like to be away from Merlin. And now it's like he's just realised he's standing on a cliff edge. Merlin has magic, and is using it so carelessly where any of the knights could see him. What if they saw him, reported what they saw? Uther would have him executed without a moments hesitation, but even the thought is making Arthur feel sick. Merlin, tied to a pole, surrounded by bundles of dry wood, his face pale and fearful. His eyes would meet Arthur's begging him to do something. And Arthur knows he doesn't deserve that fate. He knows Merlin, knows what he's capable of, and he's not evil. 

Right now he quickly ushers the knights and Merlin back through the forest to the clearing where their horses are. They mount and ride back to the small village they are defending. Merlin is happy and smiling, joking with the rest of the knights who see nothing new in a skirmish with some mercenaries from across the border. Show them some Camelot force for a few days and they'll think twice before crossing the border again. Today's mercenaries have already passed their last border into the world of the dead and Arthur now knows it was down to Merlin. He rides alone, brow wrinkled as he thinks and worries. Should he tell Merlin that he knows his secret? Or should he observe him to make sure that there isn't some kind of plot? He doubts it. Merlin's an idiot, and a better liar than he gave him credit for. But he's still the same Merlin who cried because Arthur killed a unicorn, and tells Arthur when he's being an idiot, and isn't afraid to tell the king what he thinks, even though it could lose him his head. And with what Arthur now knows, it probably will. Merlin is one badly timed spell away from the gallows. He blinks back the tears at the realisation. 

They reach the village and unload and unpack. They are staying in an old barn, the knights quickly busying themselves, looking after the horses and collecting firewood and getting food ready. But Merlin comes across to Arthur, his face concerned. 

"Are you alright? You barely spoke the whole way back"

"I'm fine" lies Arthur.

"You're not fine, something's bothering you"

"It's nothing... nothing important" he says and turns to start unsaddling his own horse. Merlin stays standing behind him for a while, then turns to sort out his own horse or to help with dinner. 

Later, after they have all eaten, Arthur puts his sleeping mat down a small distance from the others, against the wall of the barn. The others are still chatting but will be turning in soon too. Merlin is chatting and joking with them again, but his voice grows silent and just as Arthur is settling down Merlin joins him, whispering

"I've had enough of this, tell me what's going on!"

"I know, Merlin, okay, I know!" he whispers with emphasis, but Merlin just looks at him with confusion.

"About how you did the thing with the rocks" Even in the flickering dim light of the fire Arthur can see the way Merlin's face falls and pales. Or maybe he can sense it from the tenseness in his breathing and the way his whole body stiffens.

"What are you going to do?" asks Merlin, his voice has lost all the strength and certainty it had a moment ago and that makes Arthur's hear drop again, because Merlin really believes that Arthur might hurt him, hand him in.

"I know what I should do, what my father would have me do. But I can't do that, I won't"

"You won't kill me?"

"Of course not"

"I... I understand if you don't want me as your manservant any more" he says, breathing a little easier.

"Don't be ridiculous. i can't trust you on your own. Do you know how close you came to dying today? What if it had been someone else who'd seen you? Someone who didn't love you like I do?"

Merlin starts talking while Arthur does

"Arthur, I've know how close I am to dying since... What did you say?" When Arthur's words finally register his gaze shoots up and his eyes are searching Arthur's. Arthur's brain is still buzzing with the realisation that he did just tell Merlin he loved him. Something he hadn't really intended when he started talking. It's probably this 'damn the consequences' attitude that gives him the courage to quickly dart forward to press a kiss to Merlin's lips. Merlin's watching him wide eyed. But then they're both peering round guiltily to check if the knights have noticed. They're still chatting as before. As Merlin turns back he catches Arthur's eye and smiles a shy, embarrassed smile. Arthur returns it, reaching forward to squeeze Merlin's hand. That night they fall asleep fingers entwined.


End file.
